Do you ever get fed up coming last in the order of importance in your own life?
After the emotional, physical and mental overload of being a wife/partner, parent, employee, housekeeper, cook, chauffeur, cleaner, bookkeeper and all of those other roles you have in life, not to mention, often having to work part time, in a job that is either unsatisfying or pays you far less than you are worth, because you need the flexibility to look after your children.
What happens to you?
I have lost count of the number of women I have worked with, who had settled for far less than they deserved, felt unheard, unimportant and sometimes downright invisible, all while trying to keep everyone else's everything together.
And the thing is, it might be that you want to make changes, that you want a new career, to build friendships, to start a business or even to just tell everyone to leave you alone for half an hour a day, but when you are already mentally overloaded and you feel like you have to do everything on your own, how do you have the mental and emotional capacity to know where to start?
Sometimes it takes something catastrophic, like the final straw in an abusive relationship to push you forwards, or to find yourself in an affair, all because finally someone gave you space to just be you. Maybe your children go to university, or leave home. Perhaps it's a challenging health diagnosis, or maybe you just wake up one morning and realise that there must be more to life than this!
Women are more likely than men to seek counselling or some other type of therapy, something that is perceived to be a possibly passive and gentle kind of way to work through issues. But there in lies the problem. Women often seek help to deal with or get over something, rather than seeking coaching as a way to help prevent things becoming issues.
Therapy often, but not always, delves into the past, looks at what happened, why, how you felt, how you feel, how you can learn to accept, forgive, move on from etc etc, and let's be honest, people can be in therapy for years.
Coaching is far more pro-active. You get pushed, held accountable, encouraged, supported, and helped to drive things in your life forwards. Something that people may think is a masculine trait and we know what many people think of women who are 'masculine'! What we actually are is assertive, confident, comfortable in stating and asking for our needs to be met. We don't want to be men, we want to be the best versions of ourselves we possibly can and to do that from a place of positivity and energy, not dragging the very last of our physical and emotional energy, that tiny fragment that is left after all of our other roles have been fulfilled off somewhere to do something when really we just want our pj's and a blanket.
But we need, yes need to find the time to do this. The only way to make changes, to claim back who you are and what is yours is to find the time to work with a coach. Even if it means you have to learn to use that very uncomfortable word 'no' and actually take time for yourself. It really is important or you may just find yourself living groundhog day for the rest of your life.
LIFETHERAPY UK COACHING Coaching women to be bold, brave, beautiful and uniquely themselves